Just when I’ve got my stress maintained at a manageable level, Whoosh!!! Here comes the storm! Life is not always in alignment with what I think it should be, and I do struggle with that, though weakly. This move to Michigan was not my first choice – or even my second or third – but it was by far my best choice, and I’ve come to be very excited about it, eager to be living back with many great friends, to have a place of my own (more or less) and to maybe even have a job I’ve wanted for two years now, ever since my long summer there in 2013. Moving all my stuff cross-country is intimidating, but my dear (and slightly crazy) friend had decided to drive himself, a cohort, a van and a trailer all the way from Michigan to California, load my stuff up with his Ninja packing skills, and get me and mine all safely back across the country in a rambling, “let’s stop at Yellowstone while we’re at it!” kind of way. There were certain aspects of that plan that made my stomach clench in panic, but I was doing a pretty good job of breathing and letting my friend worry about the details.
But as of yesterday, that whole plan has been scotched. This friend, who I love oh-so-dearly, is now in the middle of a very serious health crisis. While the doctor didn’t actually say, “Do you want to go to California, or do you want to keep your foot?”, he implied it – strongly.
That would be enough trouble, upsetting enough, all by itself. But add to that the fact that now all my fears about doing this move alone, hauling a trailer over the river and through the woods (not to mention across big bad mountains!) are screaming at me in their outside voices. And while I believed, heart and soul, that he could pack all the worldly goods of three people into a 4 x 6 trailer and two vans, I’m not at all confident that I can pack my 1-1/2 rooms’ worth into, well, whatever I end up with. Clearly, another trip to U-Haul is in order. I don’t even know if my little Toyota Sienna has the guts to make this trip while hauling a trailer.
And we’re not even gonna talk about the whole job thing. . . .
This was perhaps not the best time to go off coffee and alcohol. I would kill for a cup of coffee right about now! – but I won’t kill myself for it. Same goes for a glass of wine. It just ain’t worth it, no matter how good my little self says it will be. If my observation from earlier this week is accurate, the relief a glass of wine would give me today would transmogrify into two days of raging panic and depression. What I’ve got right now is enough, thank you very much!
So join me as I raise a glass – of water! – and proclaim: Here’s to the grand adventure! God help me keep breathing!!