The past week has been challenging. In the first place, my gut has hurt at least a little every day, some days it’s hurt a lot. Though that was my normal state for many years, the two months without gut pain was so wonderful, and I have no idea what’s triggered it again. Sure, I splurged on all counts while celebrating my birthday, but tiny splurges mostly, and that was over a week ago. Why am I still hurting? I’ve been horribly itchy – somewhere (I ONLY mention this because I’m doing my best to keep an honest account of all that’s going on for me on this healing journey) – and that’s the last thing that should be happening! My diet is mostly squeaky clean these days; what’s going on inside my body?? Add to that the incredible stress of sorting and packing all my earthly goods (always a huge stress trigger for me; until the last two days I was doing a great job of not panicking), and yes, I am definitely struggling. It hasn’t helped that I’ve been reading through those old journals. Yesterday’s selection took me through the two years up to and through my divorce and into the following year. What a roller coaster ride! Like all but one of the others, it, too, went straight into the trash as soon as I finished. Unfortunately it was so compelling that I stayed up way too late two nights in a row reading. Bad, bad idea. It’s been a dickens of a week to NOT be drinking!
On the plus side: I’m getting the packing done, shelf by drawer, box by bag. Four big boxes of books went to the Half-Price Bookstore (netting a whopping $58), several bags have made the trip to a thrift store. There is now space in the garage for me to begin piling boxes as I pack them for the trip. I have breakfast with a friend today, and Wednesday I’m going into the city with one of my dearly beloveds to check out the Mosaic Stairs, a treat I’ve been wanting to do for several years now. Beth and Paul have been doing their own sorting and packing and I’ve reaped a lot of benefit from that as well. And, even though reading through the journals hasn’t been all easy or fun, I read one and then as soon as I finish it I tear it from the binding, pages at a time back to front, and leave it all in the trash. It is, in fact, a wonderful cleansing process for me.
So I’ll keep plugging, keep babying my body, and one way or another, I’ll get ‘er done.