Last week Beth and I both had birthdays, and Saturday we had a big party to celebrate them, and to commemorate my upcoming move to Michigan. Seemed like a good time was had by all, and I allowed myself to break most of my current protocol guidelines: I had a little bit of cheese, gluten (in soy sauce), wine, sugar (in a homemade ginger drink) and chocolate, and I stayed up late. Am I paying for it all two days later? Yes. Is it awful? Nope, not that bad. Am I going to make a habit of it? Nope. Yesterday I had the tiniest bit of intestinal cramping, and this evening it’s worse. Also, my outlook has been much more bleak the last few days (although I admit I was already mighty crabby for the two or three days before the party). I am not going back down that road, though I notice that, having taken a little break from the rigorous guidelines, it’s harder sticking to them now. Good information, but, you know, bummer.
I had already decided that the whole being in bed trying to sleep by 10pm was causing too much stress. I wasn’t sleeping well and I was kind of wigging out about it. So, for now, I’ll be more lax, aiming to be in bed by 10, but probably reading, with the goal of outing the lights by 11. Immediately I started having much better nights. Tomorrow is the last day of the current supplement protocol; Wednesday I drop some supplements, decrease some others, and add two new ones. It is definitely a step in the right direction.
I’m also reading through old journals, from 1998 through 2003. I’m doing a lot of skimming, but even so I’m covering a lot of old pain, and that is not fun. However I’m reading some things that I’m glad to be reminded of, and seeing events and old musings from a very different viewpoint, and I think that’s useful. All but one of the journals have gone directly into the trash as soon as I finished reading them (13 so far), and I have torn out maybe a couple dozen pages with poems or story ideas that I want to save.
So far I’m handling the stress of the upcoming move pretty well. Most days I actually get some work done towards the move; today I sorted through three drawers, filling a bag with stuff to take to a thrift store. That may not sound like much, but that’s work that really triggers me, so I’m pleased. If I continue to do a little bit every day, then I’ll be good and ready in four weeks when it’s time to pack up the trailer and hit the road.
This all may not sound very exciting, but what is exciting is that I laugh a lot more now. I’m getting more done. I’m not exhausted all the time. My gut almost never hurts. Oh, and for those who’ve asked, my pooping has regulated nicely. All good things.