Terrie and I were sisters-in-law for twenty years, and then we traded that in and have been sisters-in-love for the past twelve, so you could say we’ve known each other for a while now. Believe me when I tell you, she never had that look on her face for the first twenty-five years of our acquaintance. But now? It’s her default expression.
So I think maybe my girl’s got something to teach me about relationships. And maybe I’m (finally) ready to learn.
Now let me state here that Darren would never be the man for me, so I’m able to investigate their relationship without a shred of jealousy to inhibit my ability to learn. (No offense intended, Darren!) And this brings up the first, and maybe the biggest, lesson, because why wouldn’t Darren ever be the man for me (I mean, besides the fact that he is most definitely THE man for my beloved friend)? After all, he’s good looking, he’s fun and funny, he works hard yet leaves his work at work when he comes home at the end of the day. He’s a fantastic and eager cook, he cleans – often and well – and he’s been known to meet her at the door with a glass of wine, and dinner on the table. Apparently he’s also fantastic in other ways that shall remain unmentioned. So what’s not to love?
Now I have been more the person who, at the tenderest of moments, is thinking about what he (whoever) could do, or change, that I might prefer. I am, by nature and by nurture, an editor, an improver. Women all over the known universe share this trait with me, and are sitting back and itching to twitch their men this way or that, a little or a lot. And as we focus on what we wish were different, we become absolutely unable to love what is. And so, another one bites the dust.
I say with great admiration for myself that I’ve come a long way in this area over the last few years. But hanging with Terrie all summer, watching her not only with Darren, and me, but with everyone she encountered, showed me that I’m far from the summit on this mountain. And seeing the great joy and contentment she lives with every day now, I’m inspired to keep right on climbing.